If my afternoon post sounded too pessimistic then well am not in a better mood now either, but i wonder why people find it so hard to have a decent conversation with me , what puts them off ??? Its definitely not bad breath for i have an official check done ( yes in a dental check up kiosk in a health fair , yes i do visit health fairs ,when u are in Kolkata you visit all kinds of fairs)... I am digressing ...this is meant to be my self interospection space...My sick Nephew btw is doing better and is back home...but that horrible feeling of anxiety has stayed on like a pile of shit in my stomach...To celebrate his homecoming i went to this i dont know what to call it ... a gathering and was there as a friend's guest ...she was of course the belle of the ball ... each and every hot blooded straight male and not so straight female in that gathering has had a crush on her at one point of time or the other and i wondered how it must feel like to be desired ... now that there is less than a month for me to leave for home i wonder if i will be really happier there ... yes there wont be so many ppl to be hated but there will be that sickening of losing out on things of letting life slip by... why am i never happy ???
Will a love life and a stable career translate into happiness , i have my doubts ... i always have the magical world of movies to fall back on...